My 1-5-9th post.And this is going to be my one final post.
How fitting, that they sound eerily alike.
It has been long since I came here with my woes, bringing along with me my shovel.
Burying them deep inside someplace where they will be safe. Deep inside myself.
Though some things are better left unsaid, sometimes a burden is really lifted of your shoulders when you decide to take a step to confide in someone you trust. Of course then, who can we or I really trust?
I am not too sure myself.
Besides, it is just not a male's nature to share our problems with other people, be they male or female. I am not trying to be chauvinistic here, but 'problem-sharing' diminishes the male's self esteem and they will be viewed by other members as 'weak' since they are unable to solve their own problems. Today's modern society sings a different tune though, as confiding in our partners is now deemed as a sign of trust.
To be honest, I have always thought of myself as half-martian, half-venusian. I tend to hide in my 'cave' when I encounter problems, preferring to take them on on my own instead of relying on others to help me solve my problem. Yet at times, I wish for a shoulder to lean on, someone to lead me out of the darkness, someone who can understand and shares my pain.
Perhaps it will do me good to embrace the ways the males and females have been doing to solve their problems since the beginning of civilization. There will be times when I will refute the assistance of others, proving to myself and them that I have the capability to succeed. And when all else fails, I should seek the help of others so I can improve myself along the way.
I guess there isn't any shame when we ask others for help right?
Easier said than done. Especially for me.
I guess I do care about how others look at me.
I care about what others say about me.
I care about how I present myself in others.
To put it in a very crude way,
If I gave less of a fuck to this,
I am sure life would be so much happier to me.
But the thing is, I can't not give a fuck to what is happening around me and more importantly, to me.
Reason being: Knowingly or unknowingly, we love ourselves.
When something bad happens, we find reasons to make ourselves feel better.
We find ways to protect ourselves against vile creatures, even if it means lying through your teeth, or coming up with some insane, out-of-this-world excuses.
Sigh. I think I have deviated far from what I had intended to post.
I shall leave it hanging here. Let the childlike imagination take us to where we want to be.
This blog started on a happy note. And I shall leave it with one too.
Stay happy and blessed, for you know you deserve it.
It pains much not to be with your loved ones, it pains more not to see them loved.
Good luck and goodbye.
PS: Weithankyouleh.blogspot.com will be deleted w.e.f. 18th June 2011.
