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Hello my good old friend, haven't seen you for quite some time eh?Really didn't have much time to sit down and have a nice chat with you.Well, today I am taking time out from lunch to do an entry before I collapse.So many thoughts running through my mind these few days. No matter how early or hard I try to get myself to sleep, I end up tossing and turning through the night more than I stay asleep. And to think I used to fall asleepw once I hit the bed just a few months back.It isn't because I am not tired. I am physically drained! I have been exercising whenever I can, playing my guts out on sundays and not to mention work in Pasir Ris!! How can I not be drained? But someone these thoughts apparently are more important than the rest which my body craves so much. I can't imagine how my university life will be like. Today standing in the train and looking at the scenery as it rushes pass me, i can't help but wonder what has happened to me.The pass few months have been unreal. Almost as if someone or something else is living in my skin. Sometimes I don't understand the things which I do or say and regret it almost immediately. I told a girl I like her without knowing her (thankfully nothing materialised), I am more anti-social than ever, I don't initiate conversations and the list goes on forever. I am sick of myself. Tired of life. *sigh*I think I am sinking into depression. I hope the vacation will clear things up. Let me look at things in a clearer perspective. I want to go back to my true self. One that had humility but that bit of self-confidence. One that his friends enjoy being with because he is someone that brings smiles to their faces. Someone they can look to for advice. Someone that they know will help when they are in times of need. Someone they can trust.Perhaps that's what missing in my life. Trust. Somehow I feel that the people around me can't trust or believe that I can accomplish something that they have entrusted me to do. My mum, brother, friends, soccer team. Rarely will someone appreciate what I have done. It's not as if I didn't try. I did. But if i didn't meet your expectations that you have of me, then sorry because ultimately I tried. I guess I should keep things simple. Do to others what you wish others to do to you. I am learning to trust all over again. I WANT TO TRUST TOO.A summary of my life so far: Broken by LifehouseThe broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonightMaybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my timeAnd I am here still waiting though I still have my doubtsI am damaged at best, like you've already figured out(Chorus)I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathingWith a broken heart that's still beatingIn the pain there is healingIn your name I find meaningThe broken locks were a warning you got inside my headI tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book insteadAnd I still see your reflection inside of my eyesThat are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life(Chorus)I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathingWith a broken heart that's still beatingIn the pain (In the pain) there's the healingIn your name (In your name) I find meaningSo I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')I'm barely holdin' on to youI'm hanging on another dayJust to see what you will throw my wayAnd I'm hanging on to the words you sayYou said that I would, would be okThe broken lights on the freeway left me here aloneI may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way homeChorusAnd one song that has been keeping me sane. For now.Secondhand Serenade - You and II'm feeling distractedAnd likewise attractedTo all the things that you let me knowAll the things that you can't let goYou're waiting for frictionThis empty addictionIs forcing me to interveneLet's break out of this scene(chorus)know I'm not aloneI'm not the only one who is brokenAnd I know I'll never let you goI could watch the world pass byJust as long as it's you and IYou and II watch you take overI'll give you this offerTake my hand and we will run awayLeave behind our past to stayDecaying till its rottenWe'll have long forgottenThe memories that will haunt your heartLet's tear this town apartI know I'm not aloneI'm not the only one who is brokenAnd I know I'll never let you goI could watch the world pass byJust as long as it's you and IYou and IWe watched the world go by (But if it's you and I)Then we will never die (No we can never die)We watch the world go byBut if it's you and IThen we will never dieI know I'm not aloneI'm not the only one who is brokenAnd I know I'll never let you goI could watch the world pass byJust as long as it's you and IYou and I
♥ 12:08 PM
