Alright. I am officially leaving Singapore in a few hours time.

I really dread this feeling that I will be leaving home, not just for a few days. But 3 whole weeks.

3 weeks. 3 weeks. 3 weeks.

I wonder if I will die of homesickness there. Lol. Well, just have to hope that time passes fast, I really can't wait for this whole thing to be over.

成全　衷心祝福然後　就放手
放手　放開所有　彼此更自由
放手　其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手　豁出所有　還有這個好友
已經　已經足夠

林峰 - 爱不疚

I don't really catch what it means exactly but I think it's meaningful?
Courtesy of my brother who insisted I play this song while he sleeps.
Lol.

Alright. Don't really have much time to hang around.
Shall go prepare some stuff and get a good, long and nice bath before I go.

:( :( :(

Sigh. I am finding it hard.
Too hard to handle everything.
I should get a good sleep on the 2 hour trip.

3 weeks. Going to pass very soon right?
Reassurances from Mummy. xD

Hope it's true this time.

:) :) :)

As in the previous post, I can't change the fact that I am leaving for Brunei, but I certainly can change the attitude I am going to approach it.

ALRIGHT. BRING ON THE LIFE-CHANGING ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE!!!

:D :D :D

♥ 9:59 PM

FOR HOW LONG HAVE I NOT USED MY DESKTOP TO BLOG?!?!

Am I glad to be back home again blogging! :D

Actually, my feelings are kind of mixed now.

On one hand, I am so relieved to be home.
And on the other, I am feeling a little apprehensive about what is to come in the next 3 weeks.

Oh well. Days will eventually pass and hopefully, before I know it, I will be back here in the comfort of my own home! AND I HOPE TO COME BACK WITH A BADGE. That's my whole purpose for going Brunei, whoever will give a thought to the training package?!

Anyway, this week was truly enriching. I think I found out something about myself. And that is I am quite receptive to comments, negative or otherwise. I find myself changing, for the better I hope. I THINK I am helping out more than in the past, doing more than in the past, assuming more roles than in the past. I guess making the most of the opportunity rather than lamenting it is what I should do.

Okay. I digressed. I wanted to blog about this leadership development module which we all had to take. Psalm. THAT'S THE LECTURER'S NAME. HOW COOL IS THAT.

Digressed again. That's me. I can't get straight to the point. Back to where I was, we had to answer a simple questionaire which will then determine our explanatory style (how people explain life's events to themselves, reflect deeper beliefs and assumptions we have made about how the world operates) and our internal control index (essentially how we attribute the cause of life's events to one self)

Sounds chim?

Put it into simpler layman terms, it's a measure of optimism and how much responsibility you are willing to take.

MY RESULTS:
MILDLY OPTIMISTIC.
TENDING TOWARDS A LOW INTERNAL CONTROL

Which means, I tend to be a little positive in my thinking :D
but I tend to blame the cause of life events on something else other than myself.

It sounds quite accurate, doesn't it?

Come to think about it, I think it's pretty true. I tend to be positive in my thinking FIRST, before starting to think of the worst case scenarios and I don't like to shoulder responsibilities. As much as possible, I try to 'siam' all the troubles. xD

And then there were 2 quotes that were etched deeply into my mind.

1. You can't decide what life throws at you, but you can decide how you are going to deal with them.

How true. When faced with an obstacle, some of us crumble while others stand tall. It's how we look at things and the belief we have in ourselves. The going may be tough, and failures may be impending, but that should not be the reason to give up. In fact, when the slightest effort is made, it is no longer a failure. you found a way that did not work. That's all. Failure is when you give up without putting up a fight. :)

2. We have 2 'selfs'. One is the person we are, and the other is the person you want to be.

We often wish we are someone better, not knowing that we have our individual characteristics for a reason. Some may not be desirable, but I believe that there is at least one person who will embrace this characreristics, no matter how flawed. :)
I managed to find one, not that it matters anymore. I just have to wait for the next one to come along.


a
Okay, I think this was probably what I came here for. AHHH. I feel so much better, and so much mature. Before this post, I didn't really think through it. I think I inspired myself. LOL!!

Alright. Until next time. :):)

5 more days. And it will be a year. Since I finished 'A' levels. Haha. xD

♥ 4:14 PM

Life doesn't seem to be improving for me.

The impending Brunei trip.
The demise of someone always so nice.
And my thoughts keep reverting back down memory lane.

>.<

Well, on a positive note, it means that only my short-term memory sucks.
Or maybe I just don't remember things that I don't really give a damn about.

But that is not really the reason why I feel so lousy nowadays.
Too many things happening.
Too quick.
Too sudden.

It almost feels as if I just told my buddy yesterday that we are going to Brunei next month.
In a blink of an eye, I am leaving this weekend.

Maybe it will be a good break.
Shall see about that when it all ends.

AHHHHHH.
Stressed again.

Why is it that things won't go the way we want them to?
I used to believe in fate, that everything is predestined and there is no escape from this pre-determined route.
I thought that everyone had their own particular route to follow and that these paths will cross depending on fate.
Well, I am not sure if I subscribe to this thought anymore.
It seems like my life has too many twists and turns.
Ups and downs.
Its almost like the elevator brings me up to cloud nine, before the cable snaps and brings me back down to Earth.
It's almost as if life is playing a joke on me.

Actually life hasn't been that bad to me.
It just made a drastic turn as soon as I entered Army.
It seemed at that point in time everything changed.
I changed.

>.<

I wish time stopped at the end of J2.
I wouldn't mind not having my current allowance.
I wouldn't mind being as silly as I used to be.


Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Maybe I should come back only when I am happier.
I make this place feel depressing.
That is not what I want.
Not according to how I want things to go.

Can someone pass me a happiness pill?

♥ 9:30 AM

NO TIME NO TIME!!

THink I will blog more when I am back from Tekong ba.

Hopefully my house desktop will be fixed by then.

Until next time,

Everytime - A1

Lyrics I post when I am out!


P.S Happy Birthday Dad. :):)

♥ 10:48 PM

STRESSEDDDD!!! I feel like pulling out my hair and not doing anything, including going back to camp.

=.=

I have no idea what to expect tomorrow.

o.o

Knolls, hidden knolls, contour lines, ridgelines.

-.-

I just want to throw my map away.

0.o

Maybe my life.

0.0

Okay. Not that drastic.
PC said: When you go down more, means you have to come up more also.

I think I went too high up. THAT'S WHY I AM SO FREAKING DOWN NOW!!!

?!@#@!@#$!%^&

Okay. Look on the bright side!
Things may be going up from tomorrow or even today!
Maybe will have phone call saying I no need book in.

Wahahahaha.

Fat hopeeee. -.-

I wish life is like reading a book.
Entertaining, but forgettable.

But nope, not all things are forgettable,


For me, at least. :((((

♥ 1:10 PM

Been almost a week since I last came here.

Mixed feelings, mixed emotions.

Its bookout day. I am going back in tomorrow. I am feeling neither relieved nor upset.

Roller-coaster. Lol. Reminds me of my endurance runs.

Why am I feeling this way. Why can't I seem to accept things as they are.
Why am I so stubborn. Why can't I just immerse myself into the future.

The world is just full of 'why's I guess.
No one has the answer to all these questions.

Why doesn't anyone know the answers?!
Ahh.
Life is really tough and hard.
I used to think life can be really simple.

Find a true love, a stable job and a comfortable home.
Well, but things often don't go according to plan don't they?

You can plan and plan and plan your life away.
Yet some point in time, there are bound to be times where the plan is wrecked, by unforseen, sudden circumstances.

Not to say, one shouldn't plan at all!
Okay. I am being a nuisance here.
I am not even sure why I delved into this topic at all.


Ahhhh.

I am not happppppy. >.<

♥ 11:09 PM

Lol!

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

Truth is, I think I am too lazy to create a new blog, find a new template, and that I still feel quite attached to this blog. So here I am back again. I should probably change the URL. Though I have no idea what to change to.

2 weeks have passed since the period of block leave. Nothing much has changed for me. Still wishing for everyday to pass as fast as possible and the weekends as slow as possible.


AND SOC IS NEXT WEEK. :(


I think I am still unable to pass it yet. 6 min 55 sec and there is still 600m to go! How to reach the end in 2 min 34 sec?!?! Arh. I will probably need to go for RT. Waste my time. >.< %!*@*^!*@^*


Ojay. Whatever. I shall pass someday. Maybe not now only.

Wooo. Just remembered today is Deepavali. Which explains this longer weekend which I am having.
So to all my indian mates/friends, HAPPY DEEPAVALI! Even though its Deepavali, I will not bend forward to pick things up. LOL.

I probably shouldn't say that. Its a tad disrespectful.

Shall think of something else to blog ba. Feeling the sleepiness getting to me.
Goodnight k-kun.
Sweet dreams. :)

Anyway, wonder how you are doing?
Haven't heard from you in a while.
No updates on your blog either.
Think you are having your mid terms ba.
I silently wish you a *good luck*, make that many good luckS ba.
Lol. :)

A song to hear!

我 一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐 像绿洲给了沙漠
说 你会永远陪着我
做我的根 我翅膀 让我飞 也有回去的窝
我愿意 我也可以 付出一切 也不会可惜
就在一起 看时间流逝 要记得我们相爱的方式
就是爱你爱着你 有悲有喜 有你 平淡也有了意义
就是爱你爱着你 甜蜜又安心 那种感觉就是你
我 一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐 像绿洲给了沙漠
说 你会永远陪着我
做我的根 我翅膀 让我飞 也有回去的窝
我愿意 真的愿意 付出所有 也要保护你
Oh 在一起 时间继续流逝 请记得我有多么的爱你
Oh 就是爱你爱着你 不弃不离不在意 一路有多少风雨
就是爱你爱着你 放在你手心 灿烂的幸福全给你
Oh 就是爱你爱着你 我都愿意
就是爱你爱着你 要我们在一起

陶喆 - 就是爱你

Last but definitely not least,
tomorrow still remains a special day for me.

:) :)

*YAWN*

♥ 3:28 AM